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Funny Quotes

79 quotes in the topic of Funny with Picture Quotes

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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
Love is like a game of chess: One false move and you're mated.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?
I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.

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