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Top 10 Funny Quotes

Posted January 22, 2013 by Alexandra D. Williams
All Funny Quotes

Laughter is the best medicine, right? How many of us have a bad day at work or school and come home in a funk, and decide to put a comedy on? Even if it's just a chuckle or a smirk, humor always has a way of lightening the mood, enhancing conversations, and being an overall great personality quality.

"It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on."
- Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe's Playboy shoot caused a lot of controversy for her. In the 50's women were expected to be more modest than they are today. Marilyn Monroe's humor toward the criticism she was receiving shows that a good attitude towards criticism and plain meanness is a vital part in being successful.

"Sometimes I lie awake and night and thing 'where have I go wrong?', then a voice says to me 'This is going to take more than one night.'"
- Charlie Brown

We've all had that night, the one where we reflect on something that went wrong, then another, then another.  Charlie Brown helps give a more humorous outlook on it, while not denying that it's true. Joking about our problems or shortcomings generally helps us cope better.

"Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock."
- Anonymous

Every now and then we fall into pits and hardships. When we figure out how to get out of them, it sometimes seems like we're just knocked straight into another one. The lock-and-key analogy not only puts it into perspective, but shows a funny outlook response.

"At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you?"
- Jay London

Unfortunately, the Amish have been on the receiving end of jokes for a while. It's hard to ignore the obvious clash in humor between an advertisement and a people's beliefs and habits.  So... Do they leave the light on?

"If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs."
- Tina Fey

Comedy is a hard topic to grasp. It's understandable that the people that write it for a living have to balance work with play, making comedy a hard field to get in to. As a well known funny woman, Tina Fey's humorous criticism of them proves funny.

"I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens."
- Spike Milligan

Fear of death is a common fear that we as humans share. Many times, in an attempt to be brave, people claim not to fear death. Milligan pokes fun at them here, by repeating their claims, and adding an obviously fearful statement to it.

"If you think no one cares that you're alive, try missing a few payments."
- Author Unknown

Debt is not a fun place to be. We all hate the phone calls, emails, and now even text messages all trying to collect payments. When you're in debt and your spirits are down, it's easy to think no one cares much about you. This adds a humorous twist to lighten the mood.

"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be!"
- Jeff Foxworthy

As a redneck associated comic, Foxworthy's critique of the coasts is no shock. How often do we hear people, especially older people, from obscure sheep states complain about the new trends or styles? Foxworthy speaks for the farmland masses.

"A man will go to war, fight and die for his country, but he won't get a bikini wax."
- Rita Rudner

Is bravery defined by going to war or getting a wax? Rita Rudner pokes fun at males here by challenging their supposed bravery and its limits. To be fair, wax sessions are no fun, never mind a males "bikini" area.

"Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet."
- Bill Cosby

"But moooom it isn't fair!" Any parent of a teenager has heard this before, along with whines, screams, slammed doors, and sibling rivalry. Bill Cosby hits the nail on the head in this quote. Parents really do only want peace and quiet. Not negotiable.  

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